Have you ever wondered if you were doing the right things for your children?
Have you always been looking out for ways to impart the best values to your child?
Well, this article is for all parents who strive hard to provide everything to their children and are always in the process of evolving themselves to be a better parent. I hope all of you agree that a parent needs to go through a constant process of change/evolution to offer the best to their children.
How can the old you address your growing child & hence by nature we as parents grow and evolve to be better every single day? Well, there is no rule book to parenting and each one of us has our ways of dealing with kids. And I understand every kid is a different species altogether and there can definitely be no comparison on how one child responds to a situation to another.
Here I come to with the top 5 things that hold good for every parent to consider or give a thought and it does have an eventual impact on the upbringing of your child.
1) Treat your children as individuals & knows when to let go.
The major goal of parents is to get their children to a point where they become dispensable. While you would love to do everything possible for your child, it becomes extremely necessary to let them get independent & believe in their own abilities. It is important that we teach them things and let them try to learn and do it themselves.
Consider your children as individuals and give them an opportunity to make decisions. It helps them believe in their abilities and they become less dependable on us. Encourage your children to face the consequences of a particular situation and always ask them questions like what could happen if they left their bicycle outside the gate overnight. This lets them evaluate a particular situation and helps them with their problem-solving ability & analytical skills. Rather than giving ready-made solutions, it is great if you invest some time to help them identify and analyze a situation. Let us work towards building a confident, capable, and independent individuals.
2) You stand as an authority and know-how to say No
Many parents find it extremely tough to stick to the rules they set for their children and end up giving exceptions. So when a mom says no video games for a week and with the kid’s intolerable behavior they end up letting them play games the same night and consider it as an exception. This might sound a very small thing for a parent, However, they are not setting themselves as an authority to their children and this is an important thing to look at a very young age.
Children who do not consider their parents to be an authority look for authority outside the family and they tend to choose what influences them the most. Outside circle of influences can have children who get into unusual behaviors of experimenting alcohol or other substances from a very young age and that’s the point you realize the kind of authority you have as a parent. Children in such families commit mistakes without guilt.
I understand we would want to be loving, compassionate, and a friendly companion to our children. We have ourself seen authoritative or dominating parenting do not work. There needs to be a right mix of ingredients of love, compassion, and authority. Illustrate with examples of what kind of behavior is good or bad and help them understand why do you think so.
There is a need for you to strike balance between providing children support and empathy and providing proper structure and setting the right expectations of what is right and wrong and how should they behave. While easily said than done but this is a way to be a great parent.
3) Funtime with a child is the mandate time
Playful parents are the one’s who understand how important it is to have fun time with their kids. Having fun time build deeper connection and attachment with kids. While you may not be an entertainer mom or dad all the time, you could definitely take some time out to indulge in play that gets happiness and joy to you and your child.
Early games like peek-a-boo or hide and seek to have deeper meanings. It helps the child build attachment with the parent. Fantasy games help your child understand who they are and explore themselves better. playful wrestling with dad can help the child with physical strength and playing shuttle can be a game of joy.
While overscheduled parents might feel they have no time to spend with their kids to play with them. I would like you to know that it helps you ease out the stress of the busy day and gets a child inside you. You find yourself super energetic, excited & happy and wonder where you get this from? You get this from being within the energy of your child and they get the lighter and weirder side of you out. Can there be any better way to forge a deep and lasting connection?
4) Strong Relationships build happy children
Parents who have happy marriage tend to be effective parents. Children are deeply affected by the kind of relations they live in their childhood and it has an impact on how they deal with relationships in the future. Happy marriages have parents who love and respect each other and thereby set standards of how to behave in a relationship.
Parents with strong marriage tend to identify and fulfill the children’s needs better than the one’s who do not have great relationship. They drive their child with discipline and often do not acknowledge all of their needs. These parents are trying to fill in their gaps, find peace within, and in the process of repair or rediscovering themselves.
While you would love your children to be a grown-up as a responsible, compassionate, kind & trustworthy. But teaching these values is not as easy or as simple as taking them for a dance class or a swimming class. Children inherit what they see and what they experience. Hence it is important to set the expectations right at home.
5) Love them with no limits
Every child seeks love and compassion. It becomes extremely important for you to be a parent who fulfills this need of the child. Parents who ensure that they are there when their child needs them ensure they fulfill their needs based on the stages of their growth, those simple kisses, cuddles, those moments of exchanging smiles and spending a lot of time with them is a way to say how much you love them.
We show our love by being a steady, reliable, and attentive presence in our child’s life. Nothing can replace the undivided and committed presence of parents. Spending quality time with your children and understanding their needs in each phase of life and providing it to them.
By consciously making an effort to do the above you could establish deeper relations with children and always be the guiding light to them when they need you. Bringing up confident, responsible & strong adults is the process of laying a strong foundation right from childhood. I hope this article gave you a few things to relook at your journey of parenting. May this add blossoms of joy and stronger bonding with your child.
Do let me know in the comments of what you feel about it?