How can parenting a child consciously can change the whole ball game of relationships we are building with them?
With the advancement of technology and easy access to gadgets in life, we are forced to engage our kids to gadgets to get us working. Of course, we are not able to spend as much time as we would love to. However, the time we get to spend with them how qualitative is it?
Are we able to establish a deeper connection with our children?
If you are a parent or to be a parent or a family member who has access to kids at home. Then this article is for you. I was a parent myself have always thought of giving the best upbringing possible to my child. This article is an attempt to introduce you to how consciously can we conduct parenting which eventually leads to stronger relations with our children and help them identify their authentic self.
Well before we get to how can we raise our children consciously, Let’s understand what unconscious parenting means.
Unconscious parenting is a journey where we raise our children based on our culture, based on the social norms, based on what is acceptable and what is not? We categorize them as good or bad, we compare them to our set of yardsticks and we feel utterly disappointed and in anxiety, if our kids are not able to come out as we expected.
Do you relate to this? Well, I could completely relate to the above, and believe me, that’s what is projected as the ultimate way of parenting.
Hold on! I am not against what we have been doing and what we have been taught. However, I feel there have to be continuous iterations to any process or approach and it can not hold good for generations together.
How different is conscious parenting to what we are currently following?
It is more to do with the level of consciousness of me as a parent and very little to do with my kid. The ultimate goal of conscious parenting is to fix me in order to help my child identify their authentic self and not pull themselves away from who they are?
Believe it or not, as parents we unconsciously tend to fill our gaps that we could not accomplish as a kid and impose them on to our children. And indirectly use our children to satisfy our unfulfilled desires. Oh, I could not learn swimming as a kid, I will send my child to a swimming class. Our family had great cricket players, Let’s enroll him into a cricket coaching academy.
Around all the drama did we take a moment and ask our child what would they want to do? What interests them? If you have already been doing this, kudos to you for giving your child an ability to take a decision for themselves and you be a guiding light along the way.
Conscious parenting treats your child as an individual and lets them take their own decisions and stay connected to their inner self/true self.
If you agree with me a lot of us have lost contact with our authentic self and it sounds strange but it is very difficult to find our true self. It takes one to get deep inside and invest a lot of time and energy to identify and recognize who we are? And why do you think we are at this stage?
It is because we have been conditioned for years together since our childhood by our own family, society and we live with a mask. There are so many layers created that it takes a lot of effort to look deep inside to find yourself. And we would definitely not want our children to lose contact with who they truly are and go through this process of identifying themselves all over again.
Have you ever noticed how your ego comes out in different forms? Have you ever shouted at your child and then regret in sometime over your behaviour.
I know all of us have done it and felt bad for doing that. How do you think a 2-year-old can let you lose your cool. Being a toddler they are expected to do a mess of anything and everything and that’s quite normal, But why do you think it fumed you?
You need to sit back and introspect why did I behave like that and why did this behavioral pattern show up. Where did this come from in my past? You recognize you identify and you tell yourself that it is the last time this is happening to me. I hereby would let go of this pattern and consciously respond to every situation than react.
What is it that we could learn from our kids? To live in the moment, to enjoy life, and laugh aloud. To forgive, forget, and move on. Life is small, let us be grateful for what we have been blessed with and co-create moments of joy and happiness with our family and friends.
Let me know what do you think about it? Drop your comments below.
Stay tuned to learn about how can we as parents can embark on the journey of parenting with grace and gratitude.